The Joys of (Not) Cooking...

...or not. Some of the people who read this know what's been going with me for the past month, some not so much. What I will say is that I've been ridiculously busy and as a result haven't been keeping up with much of anything, let alone this blog. For those who read it or check it regularly, my deepest apologies.
I was going to try to post a lovely recipe to make up for it. I really, really was. Sadly, life has decided that that is just not going to happen this week. I'm officially not allowed to cook much of anything right now, as I've managed to somehow screw up nearly everything I've cooked in the last week. I even messed up apple cake--one of the easiest things in the world to throw together. Other casualties included my thai chicken/garlic noodles (probably the most painful one on this list), tuna casserole (again, really bloody simple, really not edible result) and scrambled eggs. The more pathetic this got, the more I realized that I just can't keep doing this this week. I'm going to be relying mostly on frozen foods or takeout this week. I think the only thing I can't screw up is linguine with garlic butter, though I've not tried it yet. I'm going to take some time this week to try to unwind enough to stop messing up the simplest of tasks. In the meantime, I am taking inspiration from my reliance on freezer staples to post my green beans. I've been known to make a meal of a plate of these, but when I was little I was known to make a meal of a can of barely warmed green beans. I'm not quite that bad anymore, and these green beans have definitely grown up.
For the next post (probably, anyway) I'll offer up a nearly-foolproof chocolate cake recipe. Assuming I don't screw it up.


Skillet Green Beans
These are quick and pretty hard to mess up. Quantities are approximate (other than the bag) and are dictated by your preference and the size of your pan.

Ingredients:
-1 Bag of Haricots Verts Green Beans from Trader Joes (still frozen) or a skillet full of fresh green or string beans, cleaned but not cut shorter than 4 inches or so long
-2-3 Tbsp olive oil
-1/2 tsp toasted sesame oil
-2 Tbsp chopped garlic (jar is fine, powdered is not)
-1-2 Tbsp soy sauce (optional, I use Healthy Boy brand Mushroom Flavored, gluten free tamari is fine too)
-1 Tbsp sesame seeds (optional, for sprinkling, toasted or not is up to you)

Directions:
-Heat enough olive oil to thinly coat the bottom of your large skillet (I use the 12 inch skillet/about 2-2-3 Tbsp for this) on high. When smoking hot, add a spoonful or two of chopped garlic, depending on your taste. Swirl the garlic in the oil quickly and add the green beans all at once, tossing with tongs to coat with oil and garlic.
-Keep the beans moving around the pan and drizzle with a bit of the toasted sesame oil. This has a very strong taste, so start with just a bit if you've not used it before. Start with 1/4 teaspoon or so, you can always add more later.
-Sprinkle beans with soy sauce, if using. I usually start with about a tablespoon.
-Keep the beans moving. (I can't stress that enough). When they are starting to brown/toast/blacken in places and have absorbed all the liquid, you are done. This usually takes around 10 minutes when I use frozen beans, if yours are fresh the cooking time will be less, so keep an eye on it. The goal is not to cook your beans to mush unless you want them that way, just to crisp up the outsides a bit and heat them through.
-Turn beans out into a large bowl or platter, sprinkle with sesame seeds and dig in, or just decant directly onto dinner plates with the tongs. These things give off a wonderful garlic/sesame smell when cooking, so you likely won't be alone in your kitchen when you're finished. Taste the beans and adjust sesame oil or soy sauce if needed. Sprinkle with sesame seeds if using.
-In my family, the bag usually serves 4-6, depending on whether or not there is another side dish available. You can make as much or as little as you like or your pan dictates.

Notes:
-I've seen my dad eat these. Honestly. If he'll eat them, most veggie-haters have a chance.
-This is vegan/vegetarian, all the fat in it is good for you, and it's a lovely way to jam some more green vegetables into your diet. Enjoy it often.
-Green Beans--You cannot used canned for this. Sorry. Make green bean casserole with those. For this you need long pieces of uncooked or frozen beans so that they brown without mushing. You can use this method with string beans just as easily as green beans and I've used a similar method on asparagus with some success (and a lot more browning).
-A note on soy sauce: La Choy sucks. NEVER use it. If you aren't lucky enough to have an Asian grocery nearby and must subsist on supermarket offerings, at least use Kikkoman. If your supermarket has an international foods section, look for other brands of soy sauce to try. I am a big fan of Healthy Boy (Thailand) which can sometimes be found there, as it's a very common brand outside this country and Lee Kum Kee. Just about anything with the Healthy Boy brand is a safe buy, whether it's dark or light soy, bean sauce, fish sauce and what have you. Also, pay attention to whether you are buying dark or light soy--there is a difference, and you're most likely used to using light soy. The one I mention in this recipe is a light soy sauce with a slight mushroom taste and is my go-to soy sauce for just about everything. Seriously, the Asian soy sauces may cost a little more (unless you're in an international market) but actually liking the food you dress with it is worth way more than the bottle costs.
-A note on garlic--Props to you if you have fresh garlic always on hand and the time to clean unknown quantities. I LOVE fresh garlic, but don't always have a head on hand. Other than Polaner, I have found most jarred chopped garlic to work just fine in this and many other recipes. If I ever post anything that requires fresh heads of garlic, I'll mention it, but otherwise, go ahead and use the jarred if that's what you have on hand. I've also made wonderful caesar salads, pasta, steaks and soups with the stuff. Jarred basil and other leafy herbs on the other hand are best left in the grocery store. The tubes of pastes of basil, oregano and such I've not tried, but the frozen cubes are usually pretty good if you're going to be cooking the herbs into something anyway, obviously less so if you're meant to chop and sprinkle over a finished dish.
-While these beans have a slightly Asian profile because of the sesame, they go pretty well with just about anything, so don't let the sesame stop you from pairing this with quesadillas if you so choose. It will probably be delicious.
-Tongs make this a lot easier. You'll be fine with a spatula, but if you do have tongs in your kitchen, use them for this.
-Super-secret hidden bonus non-recipe recipe: If you happen to be living within the vicinity of a Crisp & Juicy restaurant, or have a recipe for mild, creamy aji-pepper sauce, you can make the one dish that DID work for me in the last two weeks. First, find some spinach or asparagus and cook to your preference. Then toast some bread or an english muffin and poach 1-2 eggs. Assemble starting with bread, then greens, then egg and top with a hearty spoonful of the sauce. Definitely not hollandaise, definitely not benedict or quite florentine, definitely not remotely healthy, but very, very good.